dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
40s are totally the cure
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
