here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
