i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize