bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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