I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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