Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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