if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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