I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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