Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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