so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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