Moan for me like Helen Keller
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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