Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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