Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm really into asian looking animals
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
