This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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