bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
