ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My dick has a subreddit
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
