I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
