Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize