If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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