Your dad touched me again.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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