Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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