Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
