I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
