It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
