he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
