He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The air was thick with penises
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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