living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
