They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
