I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
