Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
