k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
