Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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