i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
