He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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