I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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