So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Rumble strips road head = magical
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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