I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
