if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
