I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
