You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
