i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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