im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
