next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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