Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
