Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
