Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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