He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
