I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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