if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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