your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
