I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize