Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
