Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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