Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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