I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
