can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
