It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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