I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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