Sponge bath it is.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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