I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize